WARNING FOR SENSITIVE CONTENT

This webpage discusses and displays footage of teen suicide, mental illness and disorders, drug use, domestic abuse, rape, sexualization of minors, self harm, bullying, abortion and other disturbing topic that may disturb you.

If you feel uncomfortable that is the point! this page is not meant to make you feel safe. If you are triggered by the content of this webpage you should leave for your own safety and health.

Now lets get into the song that lead me to this rabbit hole of suffering and wanting to end it all.

Ruru-chan no Jisatsu Haishin or otherwise known in english as Ruru-chans suicide livestream show.

Click this link to autoplay the song. or this one if you're on mobile.

You likely have heard of this song. It was apparently popular on tiktok a while ago. So, what is this song about? other than the obvious its about teen depression and mental illness along with some themes of internet addiction and menhera

This song is also a tribute to all the people who have taken their own lives on livestream. Specifically Rorochan1999 but we will be talking about her and the others later.

We are now done the brief introduction to our discussion so now lets take a look at the people who have created this piece of artwork.

SHINSEI KAMATTECHAN

Shinsei Kamattechan is a rock band that originated in Japan, Chiba in 2007. A lot of their songs revolve around dark topics. Their debut album was 友だちを殺してまで or To kill a friend in English. Their songs have been used in several animes but the most well-known anime that you will recognize is Attack on Titan. They made the second season ending song 夕暮れの鳥/Twilight Birds and the fourth seasons opening theme 僕の戦争/My war.

I don't want to delve too deep into the band just because I'm not very interested in them so I'll introduce you to some of its band members.

Noko the lead vocals who also does the composition amongst other things. (also non-binary)	Mono the leader and keyboardist, also does other things that I'm too tired to list. Its 7:58pm.	And Misako on drums.

Don't address the Misako is clipping off to the side there

Some former members are Chibagin, Abesho, Sanshiro and Yunosuke. I'm too tired to add details about them you can learn more on the wikipedia page.

First look into the song

Before we take a look into the girls who have inspired this song I would like to take a quick look at the song so we can compare what we know now to later.

The first instrument you hear when you first listen to this song is the melodica and toy piano which is commonly used by little kids and babies when they are first learning music.

It also starts off very cheerful and happy sounding. Like having a little jump in you step. Feels like you've had the best day ever and nothing could ruin you day but then we are interuppted by our singer Noko with their high-pitched almost croaky? voice.

That is the moment that we all know that something is very off and the song isn't what we think it is.

We now get into the first verse and the instrumental is still up-beat the singing sounds like Noko is on the verge of giving up. To me interpreting this song without listening to the lyrics sounds like our main character has a had a bad day and is singing to them selves as they walk home.

Right after the first verse we get a taste of the chorus! It becomes quicker in tempo and more intense the beginning that we just heard. I feel like I'm becoming repetitive with me analyzing the singing but Noko does a phenomenal job expressing the despair of a mentally ill child who doesn't completely understand the world and feels as if the world doesn't understand them and their problems.

The second verse sounds like a moment of clarity for me. I don't know how I am supposed to describe it. All these parts are very short because there isn't much to explain. The chorus comes after the second verse but I am not going to repeat what I said about it already or add anything more. Its the same sound as the first it was sung and played.

Heres something different after the second chorus. A bridge! Like the second verse its like a moment of clarity. In the animated music video the main character Ruru (which I have not mentioned yet but I will get to her later) stands in an empty classroom with a drawing of angel wings on the blackboard behind her. Everytime this scene and bridge plays I can only imagine Ruru reminiscing on her life as a whole and what it all has worth or has amounted to the grand scheme of things.

Again we are at the chorus. Nothing for me to say here.

But now we have a little instrumental without singing! Enjoy it. I don't have much to say about this part. Its just looking at our main character without her perspective but from ours. Now we get to take a look at her ourselves.

The bridge repeats again and then the chorus and then... a bunch of nyas instead of lyrics. I'll explain this in the lyric section of this page. It has importance. We hear Noko saying something in the background as the music slowly fades away and the song ends there.

Thats all I have to comment on the song for now. If you haven't already please listen to song and maybe even listen to it while reading this analysis.

About the muses of this song.

This is the part where we talk about the girls who are the reason this song even exists in the first place and why we need to have this discussion.

These girls names are Rorochan1999, Nakaikiaka, minmin and Merochan. Most of their real names are unknown for privacy reasons.

First we will be taking a look at the most well-known livestreamer Rorochan.

ROROCHAN1999

Roro was a presumably 14 year old girl who lived in Omihachiman City, Shiga prefecture. She started streaming at the age of 13 years old in 2012. She committed suicide on November 24 2013 by jumping off the 13th floor of her apartment on a livestream.

She wasn't even in highschool yet when she committed suicide. We know this because in her livestreams and on forums she would talk about her highschool entrance exams.

Her live streams were very inappropriate for age and had titles like “erotic menhera virgin”. The people who watched the streams were very disgusting towards her and would say sexual innuendos in the chat or ask her something gross. Rorochans streams weren’t all that though. Sometimes she’d play piano, talk with the people watching and film what she was doing at the moment. I do think that there was some normalness to her streams, things you expect from a middle schooler.

It was unknown whether she was liked by the Japanese streamer community. There is an archived video of another streamer talking about their dislike of her. But this is only one video so I can’t get a general opinion of Roro.

We know very little about her life. She and the government did a good job of hiding her identity. We don’t know what her face looks like, what her real name is but we do know where she once lived. It's unlikely that her parents still live there.

I will link some of her archived streams so you can look at them yourself.

Playlist of archived streams (please look at context for each video)

Roro's Legend

Why did Roro commit suicide is a question that gets asked a lot. Its a question that gets asked a lot whenever someone commits suicide.

There is no clear explanation of why Roro did what she did. There are a lot of theories on the internet that surround her. Most of them are not based on any evidence and are actually hypothesises.

The most popular theories and hypothesises are that Roro's family was abusive and she was bullied at school.

In one of her streams it is said that her mother yells from another room and Roro is visibly scared and shaken up when her mom calls her. This could be plausible but there just isn't enough evidence that her family was abusive.

There is one clip of her livestream that people say is evidence of her family being abusive or at the very least, neglectful but I will explain that how that is most likely not the case.

In this archived stream Roro is looking at the screen and sounds like shes hyperventilating. She repeatedly says "Daite" over and over again. One of the translations of this word is "to hug" or "to embrace". It was thought that Roro was trying to say "Mother, hug me." which would go along with the theory of the abusive/neglectful family. I mentioned that this is only one of the translations of the word and that there are more meanings to this word. Native and fluent Japanese speakers have said that Daite is a very weird and unnatural way of saying hug me. They said what Roro was most likely saying was "have sex with me." We don't know why she was saying this, some people think that she was reading the chat and someone kept asking her to have sex with them. It could be likely that she was telling her viewers to have sex with her also because we already discovered that she often sexualized herself for attention.

As for Roro's school life we don't know much about. As what I could find, I found that she never discusses her school. The only time I think of is when she is talking about her entrance exams.

People have said the Roro was bullied at school but we don't know if that was true or not. They most likely got this idea from the music video and lyrics from Ruru-chan's suicide livestream show. I should mention that Roro and Ruru are NOT the same person. Ruru was inspired by multiple cases of suicides while Roro is one of those inspirations. Ruru's story does not directly correlate with Roro's story.

There have been rumors of Roro actually having friends from her school who were reasonably upset when she committed suicide but as of right now I haven't found any evidence of that claim.

Another rumor says that on her twitter someone from her school commented on one of her tweets after she died saying that their friend was happy that Roro was dead. I can't confirm this either because there is a lot of people who comment on Roro's old tweets pretending to be one of her old friends.

There is no evidence of abuse or bullying so why did she do it?

Before Roro died she had discussed the last livestream and how she was going to kill herself. This was all on a 2chan thread, the thread is now deleted but it was archived and translated. If you want to read the entire thread translated here is a link

In this thread she says that she'll become a legend if she kills herself on livestream. So we can say that one of the reasons why she died was because she wanted become a legend and she wanted attention. I would like to say that Roro committing suicide because she wants attention should not make her less of a victim or someone to not feel sorry for. She still went through with this whole plan and that is proof that something wasn't right in her mental state and she needed help. People who seek attention need help professionally especially extreme cases like this.

After this thread she livestreamed her final moments. I have a link to both the full archive stream of her suicide (nothing graphic) and the chat log of her viewers. I will link them both. Discretion is advised.

Chat log

Before I link the last stream I would like to say that if you are high sensitive or not in a safe mental state

DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK

the only reason I am linking this here is for people do not understand mental illness to see what its actually like and how fucked up it is to live with. Mental illness is not feeling sad, THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR MIND THAT YOU CAN'T COMPLETELY CONTROL. Its not easy to get over especially since society refuses to believe us. Mental illness is like having a broken leg, but one that no one else but you can see. Ignoring your broken leg makes things worse. You wouldn't ignore someone in front of you with a broken leg, you'd send them to a hospital. The same goes for the mentally ill. Just because its not physical, it does not mean its not real. Last stream

We are almost at the end of our discussion about Roro. I hope her example has shown you the true horror and suffering of mental illness and how important it is to help those in need. If you would like to learn more about Roro's case I will add more links here. But for now this is the end of Roro's legend.

Rorochan Discord Archive - includes translations of posts, streams and more.

Informative video about the Rorochan investigation

Video that talks about Rorochans livestream

More will be added soon the more resources I find. Please keep checking this webpage for updates.

NAKAIKIAKA

We will now be discussing Nakaikiaka, fortunately we have a lot more information about this girl but what you will learn about her is extremely tragic. Before we begin I would like to remind everyone to please not compare the suicide victims to each other. All of their cases are equally terrible and should have the attention that they deserve. This is not a competition.

This part is under construction. Comeback another time.

Minmin

Under construction

Merochan

Under construction

Lyric Analysis

This part is under construction but have a little taste of whats to come.

JPN: 友達ができない帰り道 夕暮れは時々優しく 飛び交うデータの中で 街のBluetoothがあたしを壊した 中央線に飛びこんで 傍迷惑な奴だと言われて いつだってそこにいたんだ 少女はさっさと死んじゃった FBIに聞いたって分かんない 彼女のメッセージ いつだって叫んでたんだって チャネリングで夜空広げてく 野良猫とワルツを踊った 飛び交うデータの中で 街のBluetoothがあたしを壊した UFOに飛び乗って 反抗期じゃないのよママ聞いて いつだって1人でいたんだ 少女はさっさと死んじゃった FBIに聞いたって分かんない 彼女のメッセージ いつだって叫んでたんだって 受験勉強が終わったら ネコと話せる魔女さ 自殺配信してお墓でも立てよう この最低なきもち無くなる前に 中央線に飛びこんで 傍迷惑な奴だと言われて いつだってそこにいたんだ 少女はさっさと死んじゃった 屋根の上で猫たちと 頭が悪い人間見下して いつだって叫んでたんだって 受験勉強が終わったら ネコと話せる魔女さ 自殺配信してお墓でも立てよう この最低なきもち無くなる前に 中央線に飛びこんで 傍迷惑な奴だと言われて いつだってそこにいたんだ 少女はさっさと死んじゃった FBIに聞いたって分かんない 彼女のメッセージ いつだって叫んでたんだって にゃーにゃーにゃーにゃーにゃーにゃーにゃー〜。 にゃんにゃんにゃんにゃん にゃんにゃんにゃんにゃん 人間様は馬鹿だにゃ~ 人間様は馬鹿だにゃ~ 馬鹿だにゃ~ 人間様馬鹿だ ENG: On my way home, without friends The sunset is sometimes kind Amidst the data flying around The city's Bluetooth destroyed me Jumping into the Chūō Line Being called a nuisance She was always there The girl went ahead and died Even if you ask the FBI you'll never know Her message She was always shouting Channelling to widen the night sky I waltzed with a stray cat Amidst the data flying around The city's Bluetooth destroyed me Jumping onto an UFO It's not a phase, mom. Please, listen She was always alone The girl went ahead and died Even if you ask the FBI you'll never know Her message She was always shouting When I'm done studying for entrance exams I'm a witch that talks with cats I'll do a livestream suicide show and build a grave Before this terrible feeling disappears Jumping into the Chūō Line Being called a nuisance She was always there The girl went ahead and died Looking down upon stupid humans With the cats on a roof She was always shouting When I'm done studying for entrance exams I'm a witch that talks with cats I'll do a livestream suicide show and build a grave Before this terrible feeling disappears Jumping into the Chūō Line Being called a nuisance She was always there The girl went ahead and died Even if you ask the FBI you'll never know Her message She was always shouting Nyah nyah nyah nyah~ nya nya nya Nya nya nya Humans are just so stupid… We are just so stupid…

The animation

Menhera culture